Thanks for clicking! Here’s a bonus: what the Ministry of Entertainment and Tourism really wanted to say about Grenalle:
Grenalle’s wine is pink and dry. It is disgusting, but it’s cheap as shit, so if you’re one of those people who can’t tell a red from a white, or you’re feeding a bunch of people you don’t like, it’s a good bargain. We don’t recommend any of them, but if you’re gonna drink a Grenalle, make sure it’s the Marquis’ Own, because it’ll only make you kind of feel like you’re going to die in the morning.
We don’t know why you would visit Grenalle when there are nine other provinces that are a) closer and b) way more interesting, but if you’re an idiot or just plain crazy, go for it. We hear it’s actually quite pretty, if you don’t mind schlepping through the mud on shitty trails that are more potholes than roads. It rains every five minutes, so succumb to the fact that your stockings are going to get moldy, and leave those court pumps at home.
The capital is Pélan, and it’s got a couple of taverns, if you like the whole rustic hay-on-the-floor and smeared-grime-on-the-glasses atmosphere, but not much else, so don’t expect any entertainment. There are some lakes and rivers and things that can be very scenic, but good luck getting there and back before Term, because Grenalle is huge and there aren’t any comfortable places to stay on the way.
Oh, yeah, and there are some mountains. Make it a bitch to get to. You can only do it in one spot–Lorresques, the only city in the province that’s worth a visit–and the lines to get through can be huge. Be prepared to wait.
The peasants are mucking religious nuts, and think they can speak to the spirits. When approached, best to flip ‘em a denez and run, because they might try and enchant you or something.
Not that enchanting people is actually possible. There’s no magic in Terrvigne.
If you do visit Grenalle, do us a favor and send us a letter giving us your impression, because let’s face it, none of us would be caught dead actually going into that shithole.
